Flawed Design
by Yessica-N
Summary: You have nightmares that wake you up at night, scary but unreal. You also have nightmares that show up in the light, with sharp edged blade and a promise of death to all those you love. Osomatsu finds himself facing the latter.
1. Chapter 1

**Yes, I know this isn't the most original plot idea around but... I love writing angst, so I wanted to do my own take anyway ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

* * *

"Tougou Shinozaki?" They say his name like it tastes bitter, like it makes bile rise in their throat just trying to get it out.

Tougou taps his fingers against the table impatiently, the metal cuffs make an unpleasant sound. He does not deem to answer.

The man across from him just stares for a moment, before grimacing awkwardly and writing something down. They bend downwards at a weird angle, as if they're not sure if they even want to take their eyes off him.

Maybe they're smarter than they look.

The plastic bag is put on the table between them and the warden proceeds to retrieve items from it one by one, naming them as he lays them out.

"One fake leather wallet, 3200 yen in notes and 125 in change. Passport and driver's license. One pen, one notebook and..." There's a pause when they pull out the switchblade.

His hands itch to hold it again.

"... And one Rizzuto knife. I'm afraid we'll be holding on to this one." The warden winks in what he might assume is good humor, but only makes Tougou want to strangle him. "Does this look alright?"

He raises an eyebrow and shrugs, not even looking at the belongings. "Seems so, yeah."

They frown at him as they stand, walking around the table until they're just besides him.

When the cuffs come undone, Tougou rubs his wrists slowly, rotating them to get the blood flowing again. It feels nice.

The warden has already returned to his papers, noting something else down as their eyes move frantically between lines. "Your first appointment with your personal parole officer will be on the 23rd of June."

When the doors open the light is almost impossibly bright. He has to squint his eyes, looking into the sun until they water simply because it has been so long. The warden lays one hand against his shoulder and Tougou has to refrain from breaking their wrist.

"It's been 15 years, Mr. Shinozaki. I wish you a worthwhile fresh start." The man bows towards him. Tougou does not bow back.

He smiles thinly as he shoves his hands in the pockets of his suit. "Of course. But first, I think I'll visit an old friend of mine."

* * *

He's running as fast as his tiny legs can carry him, but it's not enough. It's never enough.

He knows the monster is right behind him. It could get him at any moment.

Maybe he should stop running. Maybe he should just give up?

But Osomatsu knows that if he does, it will kill his entire family. His mother. His father. His brothers.

He runs harder, until his lungs are burning and tears are fucking up his vision.

Until his muscles ache and he sinks to the ground, defeated.

It is on him in seconds, whispering in his ear, telling him what it will do.

Kill them first, make you watch.

Then, it's your turn.

Its claws scratch his skin and all Osomatsu wants to do is scream. It grips his throat, squeezing, and he can't breath, can't see.

He tries to fight back, punch and claw and kick.

Until he kicks Choromatsu's leg.

"Hey, watch it!" The third born grumbles, half-asleep, shoving an elbow in his ribs and fuck – yes- Osomatsu is definitely awake now.

His breath comes out in small gasps, the blankets are tangling around his legs and he's covered in a thin layer of sweat.

Something shifts to his right, and he can see Todomatsu pushing himself onto his elbows in the darkened room, blinking at him with bleary eyes. "Osomatsu-nii-san, what's wrong?"

His voice is soft, an edge of worry not often heard in day hours, and Osomatsu can't help but smile a bit, even if his heart is still trying to beat its way out of his chest.

"It's fine, Totty. Go back to bed now." He mumbles, hoping the youngest can't see him shaking. Todomatsu blinks at him a few more times, before lying back down, rolling over until his back is facing Osomatsu again.

The eldest lets out a relieved sigh, rubbing one hand down his face. He tries to close his eyes, but there's only _him_ behind the lids. His grin. His eyes. His hands around Osomatsu's throat.

With a shudder, Osomatsu turns over onto his stomach and gets on hands and knees, crawling off the futon, careful not to wake his brothers again.

He tiptoes past Choromatsu and Jyushimatsu until he reaches the door, sliding it open softly. Looking over his shoulder, they're all still asleep, unaware of his distress. Osomatsu will do anything to keep it that way.

* * *

Breakfast is hectic as usual. There's rice on the floor and soy sauce on the table and somebody may or may not have stolen Totty's yogurt.

"I'm just saying that as long as it's in the fridge, it's anybodies game." Osomatsu can barely contain his laughter at Todomatsu's indignant face. It looks more like a toddler pouting after they lost their favorite toy.

"It literally had my name on it. In marker. Underlined." Todomatsu is swinging his chopsticks around as he talks to emphasize and Choromatsu quickly takes them from his hand before he stabs somebody in the eye.

"Can't you just buy some new ones?" He tries to reason, brow creased in his perpetual frown.

Todomatsu scoffs at him and rolls his eyes. "Of course, but that's not really the point."

"The point is that you rather whine at us and give us a headache?" Ichimatsu asks, one leg pulled up beneath him. Todomatsu scowls at his reaction but doesn't say anything.

"It's alright, brother. Our dear mother has asked me to accompany her to the convenience store today. While we're there, I shall-"

"Thank you." Todomatsu doesn't let Karamatsu finish the sentence but he smiles anyway. "At least one of our eldest brothers isn't total shit." He adds, sticking his tongue out at Osomatsu and Choromatsu, who bristle at the comment.

"Shitty brothers!" Jyushimatsu intones loudly, still eating so rapidly he's almost inhaling his food. Naturally, he's the first one to finish as well.

Seconds later he's dressed in his usual baseball outfit and swinging his bat around. "I'm off! HUSTLE HUSTLE, MUSCLE MUSCLE!" the chant slowly grows quieter as the fifth born leaves the house, but doesn't completely fade until he's out of the street.

Karamatsu is the next to get up, spending unnecessarily long at making himself presentable, but only ending up looking as painful as ever, before bidding them all goodbye in an overly eloquent way that nobody acknowledges.

Ichimatsu leaves with barely a word, mumbling something none of them quite catch. Then Choromatsu and Todomatsu and before he well realizes it, Osomatsu has the house to himself.

This is a rare opportunity, and one he might put to better use, but his porn magazines are still in the other room and Osomatsu is simply too lazy to get up and fetch them.

He sprawls on the couch instead. "I'm bored." He complains into the cushions, fidgeting, but unable to get comfortable. He could try and catch up on the sleep he missed last night, but no matter which way he turns, it always feels like something is digging into his back.

He started to wish he had paid more attention to where his brothers went, so he could go bug one of them now.

"Fucking hell!" He curses loudly and gets up, ripping one cushion of the couch in frustration at the thing still poking into his side. There's a mess of dust, half-empty food wrappers and lost socks underneath.

No wonder their mom always complains about pairing their socks.

Oh, and there are also a good handful of 100 yen coins.

Osomatsu needs to blink twice just to reassure himself this is not just a happy illusion.

"Jackpot!"

* * *

About two hours later, he's leaving the casino again, pockets empty. Losing is never fun, but if it's not your own money it at least softens the blow.

"Such a waste." Osomatsu complains to no one in particular, shoving his hands down his pockets. He should have tried the horse races instead.

The streets are near empty, anybody sane off at work or school.

Something shoves into his side, and the next thing he knows his back is pressed against a wall.

"Alright kid, give me all your money!" The voice is gruff and trembling, almost nervously so. Osomatsu can't really see their face with the bandana covering almost half of it, but this guy couldn't be more than 30.

"I don't have any." He tries to put his hands up in a placating manner, but this only makes the wanna-be robber angrier, pushing him again so his head bounces unpleasantly against bricks.

"Don't fuck with me, you little shit! I saw you come out that building, now hand me your fucking money!"

Osomatsu laughs hard, loudly. "Dude, are you an idiot? You do know people lose in casinos too, right?"

The punch to his stomach takes him by surprise and he almost doubles over, unable to breath. His knee jerks up out of reflex, hitting the groin region hard.

His attacker makes an unpleasant sound, something between a growl and a whine. Osomatsu tries to shove past him, but this man is stronger than he thought and he's pushed back again, rougher this time.

The back of his head hits the wall hard enough that he sees stars and then, there's cold metal digging into his flesh. "You've fucking done it now..."

The man grabs him by the front of his hoodie, other hand still keeping the knife against his throat. He pulls forward before slamming back a third time, and this time Osomatsu can hear something crack.

His legs give out without his permission and just like that he's on his ass, dirty water soaking into his jeans. The guy hangs like a shadow above him and he can taste blood, faint iron and salt.

Some people say that when you're about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. All your accomplishments. Your failures. Your loved ones.

All Osomatsu can think about is what a stupid way this is to kick the bucket.

Then, there's another shadow. His vision is blurry, shifting too much for him to focus, but the mugger is gone, sprawled on the filthy ground too, and somebody else is there.

"Ah, still getting yourself into trouble, I see..." A chillingly familiar voice muses, making Osomatsu's blood run cold. "You haven't learned anything, have you?"

Tougou is holding the knife, wiping it against the edge of his coat and it leaves a red stain behind. The original attacker is lying motionless behind him.

It's like Osomatsu's entire world grinds to a halt, when those same eyes, that same grin from his nightmare look down at him.

"How about we have a little chat? For old times sake..."

* * *

 **Find me on tumblr: sharada-n**


	2. Chapter 2

**Look at me and my slow-ass updates BI**

* * *

It wouldn't be the first time Osomatsu didn't come home for the night.

There's six of them, all the same in some ways, but so vastly different in others and damn them if they don't cling to the little shreds of individuality they have left, whatever those may be.

And if that means going out to fuck up on their lonesome, then so be it. They've all been there.

So when Osomatsu stumbles in way past midnight, his brothers barely acknowledge him.

They're still up since it's a Friday, and staying up late is what you do on those days. Some movie is droning on in the background, but nobody is paying any attention.

Karamatsu is the only one to actually welcome him home, but does so without looking up from the mirror that is preoccupying him. Osomatsu keeps one hand against his cheek just in case.

Nothing more is forthcoming and he tries hard not to limp when he passes through the room, tries to not flinch with every stab of pain down his right leg.

But it's not until he closes the bathroom door behind him that he can breathe again.

It looks even worse in the harsh fluorescent lights than it did back in the alley, and he thought he looked pretty shitty back then.

Prying the hoodie off reveals spots of blue and green that he can only hope will fade into dull purple and black soon. He rubs against a particularly big one against his side and wonders if the rib underneath is broken.

That sure would be a pain.

With shaking hands he tries to wash the grime from his face, frowning at the red that fills the sink. Eating with a split lip will be annoying for a little while, but it's not like Osomatsu hasn't been there before.

No, he's more worried about...

He sits on the edge of the toilet as he tries to remove his jeans without making the wound any worse, hissing through tightly clenched teeth. The fabric sticks to the skin where blood has soaked into it, and pulling it off proves quite painful.

At last he is looking at the cut as it is, wiping blood from the edges and praying no sutures will be needed. That could pose to be a problem.

The first aid kit is still in the living room, and Osomatsu knows he can't just go out there looking like this.

He balls up a wad of toilet paper instead, wrapping it around the wound like make-shift bandages and hoping it will stop the bleeding.

It will have to do for now at least.

When there is a banging at the door, Osomatsu nearly falls of the seat.

"Oi, what are you doing in there, jerking off or something?"

He tries to calm his racing heart before answering. "I'll be right out."

It's a response lacking his usual smart-ass quality, but right now Osomatsu is too tired to come up with anything more profound. Apparently it's enough anyway, because he can hear Ichimatsu shuffle past the door again.

He swallows, trying to ignore the faint taste of iron lingering at the back of his throat and gets up.

He can do this. He can keep them from knowing. He can keep them save.

He has no other choice.

* * *

Choromatsu is of the decided opinion that he is surrounded by idiots. That is to say, his brothers.

And there is no doubt he is the smartest among them.

But then again, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to notice the glaringly obvious black eye Osomatsu came home with today... not to mention the general paleness and other injuries littering his face and hands.

They're in the bedroom, trying to force the futon into a flat position on the floor and pulling out pillows from seemingly nowhere, and damn it everybody must have noticed it by now, mustn't they?

Is this going to be another one of _those things_. The ones where they just try to ignore the issue, because the issue could mean feelings and emotions and if there is one thing the Matsuno brothers do not deal well with, it's emotions.

"Nii-san, what happened to your eye? Did you get in a fight?" Jyushimatsu blurts suddenly, and everybody's head automatically turns towards Osomatsu for a response.

It figures the fifth brother would be the first to give in to boundless curiosity, disregarding the potential fallout, but everyone was certainly listening now.

Osomatsu looks up over his shoulder almost guiltily. He's standing in the corner, buttoning his shirt unusually hastily and why is he doing that?

They see each other naked all the time, they bathe together for fucks sake, why would he-

Choromatsu stops the thought because, yikes, emotions. They're not dealing with that, remember?

"Oh, this?" Osomatsu touches the bruise carefully, two fingertips, like he just now noticed and there's a smile on his face that nearly reaches his eyes. "It's nothing, Jyushi. I got into a fight again."

Todomatsu snorts loudly from where he's already tucked beneath the blanket, fiddling with his phone. "And they kicked your ass, did they?"

"You shouldn't get into fights, Nii-san." Choromatsu grumbles, because it's the responsible thing to say, and also because he doesn't know what else to do. Because being the sane one is his job.

"Are you sure it's fine though, brother?" Karamatsu asks, and his voice is so much quieter than normally. "Maybe some ice wo-"

"I'm sure it's fine." Osomatsu says quickly, taking his place between Choromatsu and Todomatsu on the futon. His voice is steady and firm and Osomatsu is such a good liar it's a bit frightening.

"But I-" Karamatsu tries again, but Ichimatsu interrupts him. "You heard the guy, shittymatsu. Now turn off the lights, we're trying to sleep here."

Karamatsu seems to physically bite his tongue for a second, before wordlessly turning around and doing as their younger brother suggested. He's tugging at his sleeves in what has now become an accustomed nervous habit to the others, but nobody says anything.

They just lay in silence and try to ignore the obvious.


	3. Chapter 3

**Updates are still slow. I still have no excuse...**

* * *

He dreams of Tougou that night, unsurprisingly.

He dreams of dark blood and the glint of a knife and hands so tight around his throat that it takes his breathe away.

Those words still echoing in the recess of his mind. Whispers too close to his ear for comfort.

"If you tell anyone, I will murder them. I will murder everyone you love, starting with those pathetic brothers of yours."

And he can scratch at those hands or push against their force as much as he wants to, but they won't go away, hold fast to his body and mind.

"I will kill them slowly and make you watch. Hurt you until you're begging me to let you die too. And then I will turn my back and walk away." Tougou promises, and Osomatsu knows he will.

That he is capable of all these things and more.

And he'll do anything to prevent that.

* * *

It barely hurts anymore, in the morning. He is sore in places he hasn't been sore in before, an ache that makes him want to roll over and sleep forever, but he pushes the futon off and forces himself into a sitting position, ignoring the pain.

The room is empty, the sheets around him cold. Sunlight is filtering through still closed curtains, and Osomatsu realizes it must be near noon already.

It's extremely unusual for his brothers to not wake him sooner, little shits that they can be. Perhaps they had taken pity on him? He's not complaining anyway.

Barefooted he shuffles down the stairs and into the living room. Only Ichimatsu is still there, and he barely graces Osomatsu with a second look and a mumbled greeting.

Then the clock catches his eye.

"Fuck!" Osomatsu curses out loud, making a complete 180 and bounding up the stairs again, ignoring the spike of pain in his injured leg.

He's in for a whole more lot of hurt if he doesn't hurry.

* * *

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Osomatsu. You wouldn't want to start our brand new acquaintance of on a sour note, would you?" Tougou is leaning against the wall, casual as ever, arms crossed impatiently.

Osomatsu comes to a halt besides him, breathing hard. He has just done more running than he ever wanted to in his rather short life, lungs burning to catch air. "Fuck you." he forces out between gasps.

Tougou laughs, more amused than annoyed. His fingers are fiddling with a sharp looking pocket knife, closing and opening it at odd intervals. It's almost hypnotic to watch.

"Right." He says, as he closes it with a snap. "Because we're still playing _those_ games."

He pushes away from the wall, looking up and down the street before slipping out of the alley, sliding the knife into his back pocket as he does so.

"You still remember how this works, right, son? Or will I need to do some re-educating?"

Osomatsu shudders at the nickname, trying to let it slide of him like water but feeling it stick to his skin instead, vile and sickening.

He remembers.

* * *

Choromatsu is glad to see that Osomatsu isn't home yet when he gets there. Instead, he finds Ichimatsu in the corner absently leafing through one of Totty's manga and Karamatsu trying to make a house out of a deck of cards.

The timing probably couldn't be more ideal.

"Do you think something is wrong with Osomatsu?" He sits opposite his brother at the table, leaning both arms on it and fixing him with a stare.

If anybody would know what's up it would definitely be Karamatsu.

The cards scatter all over the table as said brother startles, and he sighs. "Brother, I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about." He says with a dramatic smirk.

Ichimatsu makes an annoyed sound over in his corner and Choromatsu rolls his eyes. "You do know what I'm talking about. He was acting weird yesterday."

"He's always acting weird." Ichimatsu comments, showing he was indeed paying attention to the conversation, despite pretending he wasn't.

"I meant weirder than usu- No that doesn't even make sense. I don't know, ok?" Choromatsu rests his head on his arms now too, groaning in frustration.

They're all three silent for a bit, lost in their own thoughts, before Ichimatsu makes another suggestion. "Maybe he has a girlfriend?"

Both older brothers tremble at the thought, before bursting out in surprised laughter.

"That's impossible." Karmatsu assures them confidently, and Choromatsu nods his agreement. "Besides, it's not the same as it was with Jyushimatsu anyway. There's definitely something bad going on."

"Why don't we follow him?" Todomatsu suggest from the doorway, relishing in the way all his brothers jump at his sudden intrusion.

"Like stalkers?" Ichimatsu asks, earning himself a glare from the youngest sibling.

"No, not like stalkers! Like caring brothers who are just looking out for him." Totty assures them with a shit-eating grin.

"Do you mean that, or do you just want to satisfy your own morbid curiosity?" Choromatsu asks with a frown.

Todomatsu seems to consider it for a moment. "Both." He decides.

* * *

"See, that wasn't too bad, was it?" Tougou asks smugly.

Osomatsu exhales and tries to still the shaking of his hands. He can't get those eyes out of his head, wide and unblinking.

The stare of a person thinking they might die.

The grin Tougou had on his face as he pushed the knife deeper into the woman's neck, making blood trickle from the shallow cut.

The way her breathe hitched as Osomatsu dug his hands deep into her pockets, pulled the watch from her wrist.

Tougou took the masks they were wearing and pushed them in the same sack containing the loot. Then he takes something out of it and throws it at Osomatsu's chest.

The boy barely has the presence of mind to catch what is being tossed at him.

"This is-" He stares at the bills in his hands, neatly tied together. More money than he probably ever had at any given time.

"It's your cut." Tougou deadpans, as if he is talking to an especially stupid dog. "Since we're partners now, it's only fair you get your share. You're not a little kid anymore."

"Partners?" Osomatsu echoes dully, feeling the vileness crawl up his spine again, settle at the back of his head. The realization that this won't be over anytime soon.

"Of course." Tougou pats his head, compassionately, a gesture way too familiar for what they are to each other. "After all, we _are_ going in on a joined business venture together."

And that's all Osomatsu needs to know that this is just the beginning.

* * *

 **Please leave a review? OwO**


	4. Chapter 4

**The nice comments on this make me so happy, thank you!**

* * *

The money feels too heavy in his pockets, weighing him down. He can feel it burn into his skin through the cloth, even though he knows that's ridiculous.

He is reminded of all Choromatu's speeches, about the sanctity of hard-earned money and working for your due.

Osomatsu hasn't earned this.

The convenience store is still open, proudly proclaiming its service 24/24 and he knows what he needs to do.

He can't keep the money, doesn't want to keep it.

But getting rid of it would be stupid too.

Might as well make some good use of it.

* * *

"What is this for then?" Todomatsu holds the ice cold can of beer a little bit away from himself, eyeing it critically.

It's a quality brand, not the cheap knock-off they normally get.

"Nothing." Osomatsu assures him, opening his own drink with a satisfying hiss. "Can't a big brother just buy his siblings something nice because he loves them?"

"Not without an ulterior motive." Ichimatsu mumbles darkly.

"Where did you get the money." Choromatsu predictably asks, and Osomatsu doesn't hesitate because he knew this question was coming and he has an answer ready.

"Won big at pachinko."

The words taste sour, like lies should. He can still feel the frightened trembling of that woman's body, hear her repressing sobs as Tougou wrapped one hand around her throat, the skin become white beneath his fingertips.

The beer is foul, flavored with guilt, and Osomatsu pours it down the sink when he knows nobody is looking.

* * *

At night he lies in the futon between his brothers and feels like he doesn't belong there. He is not one of them, one of six. Not anymore.

* * *

Tougou's eyes are colorless. Osomatsu hadn't noticed it before, how cold they are. A bleached out gray that seems closer to pure white, completely empty, betraying nothing of what lies beneath.

Eyes that can lock onto yours and make shivers run down your back.

They fit him.

"What about her?" He says, voice flat. He is tired, barely slept for fear of dreaming the past days, and he just wants to get it over with.

Wants to go home and continue pretending everything is fine.

It's been almost five days of this now, of meeting Tougou in the alley and waiting for him to seek out a target that suits his taste.

Somebody that looks rich enough to be worth robbing, weak enough to go over easy. Osomatsu is tired of waiting.

"Are you kidding, she won't have more than 5000 on her." Tougou answers, voice laced with annoyance, disappointment.

With a sigh, Osomatsu leans back against the bricks behind him. They dig into his back and he is reminded of the dull aching in his skull where Tougou hit him for being late today.

But his brothers were following him, suspicious of the abundance of beer and snacks lately, and Osomatsu had to take a detour to the casino. He stayed there for at least half an hour to make sure they'd be gone again.

They think they're so clever.

"Him." Tougou hisses, a little nod towards a figure making their way down the street towards them. It's just a kid, younger than Osomatsu himself, and he sighs.

"Fine, anyone will do."

The streets are empty besides this one guy, completely absorbed in their phone. This should be easy.

Tougou eases the knife out of his back pocket and flicks it open. As soon as their victim passes the alley he moves.

It reminds Osomatsu of the nature documentaries he and Choromatsu used to watch together, a snake shooting out of its hole to grab its prey, gone and back in a second, faster than the eye can catch.

One moment he's there and then he's not.

The kid barely makes a noise, a strangled sound of surprise and dismay, before there is a knife pushing against their throat, digging into the skin.

"If you value your fucking life, you better keep your mouth shut." Tougou whispers urgently, bracing his arm against the victim's chest to press them into the wall.

Time is of the essence now, Osomatsu knows. He needs to do this fast and clean to avoid being caught.

And to avoid pissing of his 'mentor'.

He rips the cellphone out of the kid's hands, easy because surprise loosened their grip. they're not wearing a watch, but Osomatsu can see the outline of a wallet in their front pocket and goes to grab it.

As if the movement woke them of their shocked stupor, the boy startles and kicks at him. Osomatsu barely manages to evoid getting a broken nose.

Tougou punches the kid in the stomach harshly, knocking the air out of them. They wheeze, trying to double over but unable to due to the knife still pressed to their throat. They lash out with their hand instead, aiming for their assailant's eyes.

Osomatsu feels like he can barely breathe as he watches them strike through and push Tougou off, breaking free from the man's grip. Their mouth is already opening in a call for help and Osomatsu panics, blood racing.

Out of instinct he grabs the kid's wrist, yanks it down. Tougou is looking murderous, eyes blazing with ill-disguised furry. His knife is still in his right hand, Osomatsu processes too late.

It happens in an instant, faster that he could even process.

One second Osomatsu is holding the kid's arm, trying to stop them from getting away. The next moment there is a knife buried hilt-deep in their stomach.

It takes forever before anybody dares to move again.

Tougou pulls back, the blade comes with him and it is stained in glistening red. The kid looks almost as stunned as Osomatsu feels, their mouth opens in a surprised little o. But nothing comes out besides a thin trickle of blood.

They fall back against the wall, slide to the dirty alley floor, and it's nothing like in the movies. There is no soft closing of the eyes and slumping of the body.

Instead, they convulse, cough a few times and their pupils are wide, eyes open as they die, smothered sounds of pain and pleading.

It could have been a few seconds or it could be minutes. Osomatsu doesn't know anymore, doesn't feel like the flow of time affects him. Sweat is trickling down his neck, the cloth around his face feels sticky and warm and he just watches this kid die.

They're younger than him. Barely old enough to drink.

They reminds him of his younger brothers.

"Fuck." Tougou sighs, he doesn't sound appalled or disgusted, just impatient. As if this is just a minor inconvenience that just made itself known.

A car rushes by and Osomatsu startles, his heart beating so fast it might burst.

They just killed a man.

It doesn't sound real, it doesn't sink in. Tougou wipes his knife down the kids jeans, leaves crimson stains that quickly turn dark and kicks the body in the side.

Then, he bends down and takes their wallet.

He looks at Osomatsu, smiles sharply at his horrified expression. "Now that's what we call raising the stakes, son."

* * *

The blood doesn't come off. It's stuck under his fingernails and no scrubbing in the world will get it out.

A dead person doesn't feel like Osomatsu always thought they would. They weren't cold and stiff. They were warm and pliant and still leaking. It's all a blur now and for the life of him he can't remember what they did with the body.

He just remembers Tougou assuring him it would be fine. It would all be fine.

He recalls getting his share of the money and throwing it away at the bridge in the park, watching it disappear beneath the rushing waters, quickly followed by the contents of his stomach as Osomatsu wretched his gut out into the river.

He can't get those eyes out of his mind, wide and dead and staring at him.

He opens and closes the door quietly, wishing nobody would notice him. Wishing he could just go upstairs and curl up on the futon, fall asleep and not deal with anything anymore.

Maybe never wake up.

But such luxury is out of the question in the Matsuno household.

Jyushi greets him in the hallway, cheerful as ever, and when he enters the living room they're all there. They're there and they smile at him.

It's almost too much to take.

"No beer this time?" Ichimatsu asks, more in jest than anything. His voice is laced with sarcasm too.

Osomatsu shakes his head, still feels the weight of the body in his hands like a ghost that lingers. "Didn't win today." He says.

* * *

 **Tumblr: sharada-n**


	5. Chapter 5

**Look at me, sporadically updating chapters for this old-ass story. Good job, me!**

* * *

His dreams that night are mercifully empty, wiped out by an exhaustion so intense it wraps him in a comforting blanket of mindless sleep.

When waking up, Osomatsu could almost delude himself into thinking that what happened yesterday was just a bad nightmare at worse. That lifeless eyes staring at him in darkened alleyways were just a shadow.

Too bad reality is all too eager to intrude upon that fantasy.

"Be careful out there." Their mother says, and her eyes are wary with years of looking after six troublesome sons.

She is clutching a newspaper to her chest, folded open to the regional news. There's a photograph of a boy staring at them from the front page, alive and smiling.

Nothing that resembled what he looked like last time Osomatsu saw him.

'Missing' it proclaims in a big, depressing font. 'Dead' Osomatsu knows.

Because he killed him.

"He's the same age as us?" Todomatsu says, eyes big and wide, shivering a tiny bit. "Scary."

Jyushimatsu nods in agreement, smile just a little bit less sincere and Choromatsu looks at him with a serious expression.

"That's the same area you usually go to the casino, nii-san. Please have care when you go there."

"I will." He manages, but it comes out strained, smothered. He feels like he's going to puke.

"Just make sure you all come home on time, tonight." Their mother says, though she knows they won't listen.

When have they ever done what she asked of them?

* * *

Tougou is already waiting for him when he gets there, not their usual spot, but another back alley in another street.

He looks relaxed, grinning with his lips curled around a cigarette and Osomatsu wonders how it could be so easy to take a life and not let that bother you.

Not have their eyes haunt you all the way down the street. Jumping at the far off sound of a police siren because the guilt in your gut is real and sickening. Almost wishing they knew what you did, so you wouldn't have to live with it any longer.

Osomatsu is sure Tougou doesn't have to deal with any of that.

"Why the long face?" The conman asks, leaning back and looking down at him in something of contempt.

Tougou doesn't like the sight of weakness.

"I even got you a present and everything." He says, smirking.

Osomatsu clenches his fists, unwilling to accept so much as a dime from this man, this monster, in front of him, but he had been doing just that the past few days, hadn't he? Too scared to refuse.

What Tougou pushes into his hands gives him pause though, turning it over a few times, trying to figure out what it is.

"It's a pager." Tougou says impatiently, reaching out to turn it right side up and when their finger brush against each other Osomatsu feels nauseous.

He remembers those hands soaked in blood, killing a man, dumping the body somewhere nobody will find it...

hopefully.

Forcing himself to ignore the awful sensation he focuses again on the ancient piece of technology.

"What do I-" he starts, and Tougou interrupts him with an annoyed sound.

"You answer it, obviously. Whenever I need you. At once."

It takes a second to sink in, and when it does Osomatsu scowls. "Like hell I will."

The normal sensation of being absolutely terrified by the man in front of him, something he has almost but not really become accustomed to over the last few days, temporarily subsides under a mounting feeling of indignation.

Osomatsu is the first to admit he is many things, but he isn't a fucking dog.

The pager clanks against the cement when he throws it down, raising his face to meet Tougou's eyes and they're cold still, but not surprised.

Like he expected some resistance at least.

"You're not pleased?" He asks, voice edging on sarcasm and Osomatsu feels like he wants to rip his fucking throat out right now. Maybe it'd be better if he did, even.

Then Tougou raises his hand, curls it into Osomatsu's hair and slams his head against the brick wall of the building next to them.

It's jarring. Maybe he blacked out for a second, because it's like he misses a few beats and then Tougou is talking but it's far off, vision hazy.

He can feel blood dripping down the side of his face, hot and wet, and it hurts like hell but somehow he's not making a sound. Stunned into silence.

"Do you understand?" Tougou says, slowly, as if he's talking to a little child. And at that moment Osomatsu feels like he's just that. A six year old again, scared of the big bad man that will hurt his family.

Especially when Tougou wraps one hand around his throat and squeezes, just like back then, not hard enough to leave any marks but just enough to take his breathe away.

"I said do you fucking understand?" He hisses and Osomatsu nods, despite not knowing what the fuck he's even agreeing to. Just certain anything's better than dying.

"Good." Tougou says softly, bending down to pick up the pager and it's unbroken, old-school technology build for sturdiness rather than flair. He tugs it into Osomatsu's pocket almost gently. "Be a good boy and don't fuck this up."

* * *

Choromatsu enjoys the quietness of an empty house. It's not something you can often experience in the Matsuno household, unless their mother threatens with chores, which is a sure way to get all six of them hurrying for the door in an instance.

It's not that he minds his brothers that much, not more than any regular sibling would, despite them all being idiots at times.

He just needs to be alone sometimes.

But today he can't even enjoy that, the room a clutter of personal possessions and trash and there's no sense in peace and quiet if his surroundings look like this. Not to Choromatsu anyway.

He makes short work of most of it, throwing away what needs to be thrown away because otherwise nobody would, and shoving most of his brother's belongings into some corner or another.

A red hoodie lays draped over the couch and he sighs, picking it up and folding it. In doing so, something innocently tumbles out of the front pocket.

A big ol' wad of cash.

"What the-" Choromatsu automatically breathes, despite there being nobody in the room. Osomatsu had been inventing plenty of tall stories about winning big in the casino lately, but this was just an excessive amount.

"Choromatsu-ni-san!" Todomatsu loudly announces his presence, and Choromatsu basically has a mini heart attack. He whirls around to throw his little brother the most poisonous glare he can manage, but it's tragically undercut by his racing heartbeat.

Todomatsu smiles. "Again?" He asks slyly and it takes a moment for the older brother to have it sink in what he means.

He must make quite a sight, on his knees, with his back to the door and hands at his crotch, holding-

"No!" He says quickly, grasping at a way to divert attention immediately. The answer is at hand. "This."

Todomatsu looks just as surprised as he did upon discovering the money, mouth twisted into a small o and eyebrows drawn close.

They're silent for a while.

"This is not pachinko money, is it?" Choromatsu says after a moment, and he hates how hesitant it sounds. As if he wishes it were just that. At least that would be easier.

"It isn't." Todomatsu confirms, not looking at him, but at the cash still and certainly the exact same thought is going through their heads.

What the fuck is Osomatsu getting himself involved in this time.

* * *

Night has fallen by the time he gets home.

Tougou insisted on doing at least three today, to 'make up for lost wages' and Osomatsu hadn't dared question him, lungs still straining for air.

The blood dried, now caked to the side of his face, the spot where he collided with the building a painful circle radiating hurt all over. His vision is blurry still.

Brain so numb he isn't thinking at all.

Which was probably why he just strolled into their home, not a care in the world, and of course _they_ were there, and for a second all he felt was hatred.

Something foul that burned inside him and told him that if only his brothers never existed, if only he was without them.

Nothing of this would ever have happened.

"Nii-san, what happened?!" Totty all but yelled. His voice sounded off, and that should have been enough to let Osomatsu know something was up.

That something wouldn't hold out much longer.

They fussed over him and while Karamatsu went to get the bandages, Jyushi used a wet cloth to try and wipe the blood of his face, and for a moment all Osomatsu wanted to do was cry his heart out.

And tell them. He wanted to tell them so bad.

But he just need close his eyes and he knew. The image burned inside his brain when he was a child, the one of his brothers sprawled on the ground with cuts in them and nothingness in their eyes, was enough to keep it at bay.

No matter how much he wanted to.

"It's nothing." He tells them instead, over and over so maybe he himself can believe it too and it can be enough for a while.

His head still hurts like shit and he hisses as Karamatsu applies the bandages, but they don't say anything.

Osomatsu just knows they're going to.

"I found this." Choromatsu says, laying down a bundle of 10.000 yen bills and there it is. The other shoe always drops in the end.

Osomatsu stares at it, as if he too is just seeing the money for the first time and nobody says anything, but the questions linger on their tongues.

Ichimatsu scoffs and breaks the silence. "What the hell are you really doing? Because it sure as hell isn't just pachinko."

"Nothing." He says, without missing so much as a beat, and feeling they are going to object, he tries to smile. "Nothing important."

They do object, as he knew they would, but Osomatsu isn't listening, mind elsewhere and it's so easy. It has never been this easy to ignore them before.

Jyushimatsu touches his hand, and they lock eyes.

"Why don't you trust is?" The younger brother says, and for a second Osomatsu thinks maybe he'll break.

But he can feel it harden within him even as he thinks this.

He is their older brother, the eldest, and it's his job to keep them save.

"I'm sorry." He says lamely, shrugging Jyushimatsu off, before standing and, ignoring their further protest, going upstairs to sleep.

They'll understand this is better for them someday.


	6. Chapter 6

**Man this escalated quickly...**

* * *

Their room has never been colder.

They've slept in exactly the same way, the same order, ever since they were little kids, and it worked for them. Jyushimatsu at the far end because he moves too much. On the other end, Ichimatsu, loathing the feeling of being walled in.

In contrast to Todomatsu, who ever since he was young, demanded to sleep between the two eldest. He was prone to nightmares and somehow this had helped, Osomatsu never knew why.

This morning felt different.

It wasn't, they all laid in their neat little row like nothing had happened, the room still dark before dawn, but he could feel the distance between them. Like a physical force dividing them. Colder.

Like somehow they were trying not to touch him and all Osomatsu could think of was that it fitted. It was right.

He doesn't belong here anymore.

It hurts, a pain as real as the headache he still has from yesterday, so he crawl from underneath the blankets and leaves, because staying might suffocate him.

The door to their tiny balcony is slightly ajar, the night air lukewarm in the middle of summer, and he goes out to breath. To be away.

Osomatsu isn't sure how much longer he'll be able to keep going like this.

He isn't alone for long, he didn't expect to be. Karamatsu doesn't say anything but he's there and it lingers, the thought.

Maybe Osomatsu should tell him.

(His brother just kinda stares at him, looking tired and he knows he hasn't slept much either tonight, ever the worrier of the family.)

But then again, better if he doesn't.

They used to smoke out here all the time, just the two of them talking about shit between cigarettes, but Choromatsu always got angry about the mess they left behind and then their mother made them quit, so it's been a while.

"Why won't you tell us." Karamatsu says at last and Osomatsu always wondered at how different he is when alone. When it just doesn't matter as much to look cool.

They're all different when alone, he supposes.

"I can't." He says, it's not a much better answer than the ones from last night but he's just so fucking tired. Tired of it. Tired of everything.

"You can't, or you _can't_?" The sun is barely peeking over the horizon and it's too early for such heavy questions. They should go back to bed.

But the nuance is there, spoken out loud, so Osomatsu must answer.

He doesn't want to.

"I won't." He says instead, because it's different and maybe Karamatsu will take the hint and go back to bed.

He doesn't.

"Fine then." His younger brother says evenly, pouts like a fucking child and he looks a lot like Todomatsu for a second.

They all look so much like each other, Osomatsu thinks.

They stand together in silence until the sun perches high in the sky, until they hear the sound of their younger brothers waking up and moving about.

And even then they don't go inside.

* * *

"You're coming tonight, aren't you?" Choromatsu asks during breakfast, and it takes Osomatsu entirely too long to catch up to reality and what is being demanded of him.

He's so sleepy, his entire brain feels like it's moving in slow-motion, autopilot the only thing that's still keeping him going.

They're looking at him, waiting for his answer, and it slips out without second thought. "Of course."

What the hell did he even agree to?

"You must be so excited, Jyushimatsu-nii-san." Todomatsu gushes, leaning his elbows onto the table and his eyes shine with something different than usual. Something sincere. "We're so proud of you."

Jyushimatsu nods in turn, mouth full of rice and when he smiles it's like the whole room lights up a bit. "I am!"

Osomatsu zones out of the conversation after that, pretending he has a half-way decent idea of what's going on anyway. After a while his brothers disperse, up to their own thing as usual, and he goes back upstairs to pull on his clothes.

They're stiff with old sweat, smelling even more horrible than they usually do but he has little choice. Most of his other attire has been ripped or spotted with blood as a result of his little side-job.

Something hard sits in the pocket, and Osomatsu pulls out the pager with a frown. He had been too exhausted to think about it yesterday, but he checks it quickly now to make sure he hasn't missed Tougou trying to get in touch with him.

There would be hell to pay if that were the case.

But the universe grants him a small mercy, the screen declares no missed messages. He turns it over a few times, actually taking a decent look at it for the first time since he's got it.

Osomatsu isn't an expert when it comes to technology by any means, Todomatsu is even the only one of them who owns an actual cellphone, but he can tell it's a one-way pager just by the way the device is set up.

He won't be able to use it to contact Tougou in turn. Not that he has any desire to do so.

He stays upstairs a while longer, making sure he waited long enough to assure himself that he's truly alone in the house, that he can breathe freely if even for a minute.

It's the only thing allowing him to keep his sanity at the moment.

Just one blissful moment of not being the older brother. The useless son. The unwilling partner in crime.

Then he's ready to do it all over again.

* * *

He hates the mask. It's stuffy, making it hard for Osomatsu to breath and it itches around the nostrils.

At least it protects his face from the freezing cold outside. Temperatures have dropped to a dismal level, and the streets reflect that, nearly deserted. There's not a pedestrian in sight.

Tougou grumbles out his displeasure, scuffing his foot against the sidewalk and Osomatsu shifts his weight anxiously, unsure what he should do. He wishes he could just rob somebody and get the day over with, as absurd as that sounds. At least it would give him an excuse to go home.

They wait around for nearly half an hour more, Tougou's irritation rising by the minute, and by the time he finally turns around Osomatsu nearly jumps out of his skin at being addressed. He has comfortably dozed off into a blissful state of unawareness.

"Come on." The conman nearly spits, flicking his knife in what has become a nervous habit which unsettles Osomatsu more than he cares to admit. "We're doing this the hard way."

* * *

He didn't draw the line at murder, he's not sure he should be surprised now.

He isn't surprised when Tougou pushes a gun into his hand, not even bothering to ask if Osomatsu has even the slightest clue on how to handle it. He doesn't, obviously, besides the few shooting games at the arcade.

He isn't surprised when his self-proclaimed mentor pulls his hood up over his eyes, secures the masks properly on his face. The touches make him flinch somewhere deep inside, but not visibly anymore.

And he's definitely not surprised when he follows Tougou into a store, automatic pilot guiding him through the motions and maybe if he doesn't think about it hard enough none of this will actually be happening. It doesn't feel like it does anyway.

The people inside shriek when Tougou fires a couple of warning shots into the ceiling. Unsuspecting shoppers dive to the ground, cower and put up their hands and one little boy just stays standing.

His eyes are big, curious as to what's happening and Osomatsu trains the gun on him calmly. His hands don't shake. The boy pouts in a way that horribly reminds him of Totty.

The mother, already on the floor, pulls her child towards herself desperately, hugging him to her chest and there's tears streaking her face. A kind of fear Osomatsu can't even begin to comprehend.

This isn't happening.

Tougou is yelling and the cashier is answering in garbled responses but Osomatsu can't even hear that. Only the sound of his heartbeat drumming against his skull and the mother whimpering at the sight of the gun pointing at the both of them now and his finger twitches, just the slightest bit.

This isn't happening and if it isn't happening it wouldn't matter if he did shoot, would it? Maybe at least then he would feel something.

Then Tougou is tugging on his sleeve, twice, and he snaps out of it, shaking his head and the child is staring at him still, blinking but not crying in the slightest.

Totty would have been bawling at this point, Osomatsu can't help but think.


	7. Chapter 7

**I realize I haven't updated this story since December. It's shameful, I know. I promise i'm actively working on it again now. Thanks for the comments guys!  
**

* * *

Everything after that happens in a blur. There's terrified whimpers, a few more shots in the ceiling and then money is exchanging hands. Osomatsu feels like his entire body is shaking, like a current of electricity is running through him and there's nothing he can do to stay within reality.

Tougou hits him.

It isn't hard, more like a shove than anything else and his mind reels back to the present.

"Wha-" His breathe fogs in the air in front of him. They're outside somewhere, though Osomatsu wouldn't know where and his mask is pulled down again. There's a distant sound of sirens and the noise makes something awful crawl up his back, settle somewhere deep inside him with a primal fear.

He's a fugitive now.

"Your cut." Tougou groans, rolling his eyes at the way Osomatsu's fingers clench around the money awkwardly. He wasn't that wrong before, he _is_ shaking. At least his hands are.

Tougou throws an arm around his shoulder, squeezes just a bit too tight for comfort and if Osomatsu was in any other state of mind he would have shrugged him off already, but right now he uses the weight to ground himself.

"Kid- Relax." There's a hiss in his ear, heavy breathing at the side of his face and Osomatsu wants to gag. He wants to hurl and go home, get under the blankets like a little kid hiding from the boogeyman and never get out again.

He wants his brothers-

The thought of them steels him. Cold and harsh and suddenly he nods, his shoulders slumping in defeat. Tougou smirks sharply.

"That's better." His voice is full of mock sympathy and he pats Osomatsu on the back condescendingly. "There's nothing to worry about, son."

Osomatsu nods, clenches his fingers tighter still. Nothing to worry about.

Nothing to worry about at all.

* * *

"Oh good, you're just in time." Todomatsu says as soon as he opens the door and Osomatsu blinks, forcing his thoughts back to the present once more. All his brother's are standing in the hallway, bustling with coats and shoes.

"What-"

"Please tell me you haven't forgotten." Choromatsu remarks, frowning and Osomatsu can see Jyushi deflate in the corner. The sight is more than a little painful, and not in the Karamatsu way.

"No, I'm just- I just-" He stutters. His head hurts, he's tired and he wants nothing more than to go upstairs and collapse on the couch. This is just too much.

"Let's go before we're too late." They don't let him finish before they're herding him out the door once more.

With a sigh, Osomatsu can't do much more than follow.

* * *

It's a baseball game.

The important thing, the thing they simply couldn't be late to, was a baseball game.

You've got to be kidding him.

"Good luck." Ichimatsu mutters, a rare smile gracing his face and that's when it hits Osomatsu like a ton of bricks.

He forgot about Jyushi's game.

The fifth brother had actually joined a club not long ago, something Osomatsu had completely disregarded until just now, but they rarely played official matches.

"Oh." He breathes, before regaining his composure. Jyushimatsu is already turned around but Osomatsu grasps him by the shoulders before he can speed off, giving him a quick thumbs up.

"Hit it out of the park." He jokes lightly, hoping it makes up at least slightly for his inconsiderate comment earlier and it seems it does because Jyushimatsu lights up like a fucking Christmas tree.

He speeds off to his team while the other Matsuno brothers look for a place in the stands, Todomatsu pulling his scarf closer around his face.

"It's freezing." He complains loudly. Karamatsu laughs.

"I could lend you my coat, brother." He says, but Todomatsu throws one glance at the horribly unfashionable leather jacket his brother is wearing and shudders.

"I think I'd rather freeze."

Osomatsu chuckles, relaxing back against the concrete slabs serving as a stand as the field comes to live in front of them. Jyushimatsu waves at them from the bench he's currently still seated in and Osomatsu waves back.

He has missed this. Just being with his brothers and relaxing. The past few days with Tougou almost made him forgot how nice it could be.

They watch the game for a while, either in silence or brotherly bantering, as they're so wont to do, and Jyushi is just up for pitching when Osomatsu feels his leg vibrating.

Or not his leg, rather. The pager in his pants pocket.

He tries to look at it discreetly, but the short message only relays a location.

One tiny second Osomatsu hesitates. His brothers are laughing at something, he can feel their warmth against his side and every ounce of him wants to stay.

But he remembers the cuts and the bruises and the knife.

Then he gets up.

"I have to go." He says quickly, not looking any of them in the face, before rushing off. It hurts, a pain less real and more imagined blossoming inside his chest. Curling inside his ribcage.

Whispering about what a horrible big brother he's being.

Choromatsu catches up with him just outside the perimeter, grabbing the edge of his sleeve and Osomatsu turns around, facing him with downcast eyes.

"Choro, please just-"

"No." His brother doesn't sound angry. He sounds worried more than anything and that too hurts. "Please just tell us what's going on."

"I can't."

Choromatsu lets go in exasperation, holding up his hands. "What does that even mean?!"

"It means I can't tell you." Osomatsu spits out. "Now please just go back. And tell Jyushi I'm sorry."

He runs off without another word, ignoring the way his brother calls after him.

* * *

Tougou is waiting for him, eyes closed and head tipped back against the wall. More than anything Osomatsu wants to jump him. He wants to lash out and rip his throat out. He wants to destroy this man.

Osomatsu huffs as he reaches him, trying to catch his breath. Say what you will about his acquaintance with Tougou, at least it has improved his condition.

He has almost gotten used to running.

"You needed me." He says bitterly, not bothering to conceal the distaste in his voice. He feels like some lackey, at beck and call of his master with the snap of a finger.

Maybe he is just that.

Tougou smirks down at him. "I didn't. I was just testing you."

Osomatsu doesn't say anything, stunned speechless. Tougou chuckles at his expression, before patting him on the back in passing.

"Go home and get some rest, son. It's another bright day tomorrow."


End file.
